“What about the guy you’re supposed to be seeing.. should I tell him to come over?”
“I don’t want him to see me like this.. Where’s Mom?”
“She’s in Vancouver with her boyfriend.. ”
“I don’t know. Maybe he’s with his girlfriend.”
“But I’m sick..”
“It’s stage 5. She doesn’t want to see you right now”
“Have you lost your fucking mind ! I’m the ONLY one she wants to see !!!”
“Do you believe me now?”
“I always believe you.. you’re my little sister. I love you.”
She was angry at me because she had been repeatedly misdiagnosed and was now dying of cancer. It wasn’t that she felt like no one cared. She felt abandoned and unloved.
Surprisingly, we didn’t talk about getting better or fighting it off or any type of alternative healing. We were told there was a protocol for this situation and somehow that put us at ease. We’re tough. We can walk through anything. And if that’s what she had to do.. then she was going to do it. We were optimistic and naive.
It seems so long ago now.. even though I think about her every day.
Sugar and spice